September 4, 2021

I received so much positive feed back on my last post, I thought I would answer some questions and tie up some loose ends.
First- I clearly stated that I am pro-choice, and lampooned the Texas bill. I think some folks intentionally misconstrued the post to vent some of their frustration about what is going on in Texas.

By reading my blog, I assume you want my opinion. It’s your right to disagree, or get upset. However, maybe you shouldn’t tell me that I don’t have a right to voice my opinion… after asking for it by reading my opinion blog. I mean that kinda makes sense right?

Moreover, I can’t apologize for being a male, with a male-centric point of view. I am a male. Again, you went to a male author’s blog, where he gave you ample warning he was going to discuss abortion. Reading further is implied consent. If you truly believe males should have no opinion on the subject, why seek me out to read it? That’s really on you, not me.
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The entire premise of the post is that while everyone is up in arms about the Texas bill, the best way we can help young woman and men is to give them quality sex education, and easy access to contraceptives. Preventing unwanted pregnancy is always pushed to the wayside, while folks have fiery debates about abortion.

I also criticized the pro-choice talking points. I said our goal should not be to tell lies, or attack the other side. Our goal should be to win them over to our side. I feel like no one is doing that effectively on the left, hence why things like the Texas abortion bill happen.
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On the topic of Jonny-
Yes Jonny is a real person. It is a real story. Yes, Jonny did eventually go on to get married, and have 2 kids. It wasn’t a secret I was trying to hide from readers, I gave the after story to anyone kind enough to ask.

I think some of you did not understand my reasons for telling Jonny’s story.

For one, seeing all of that happen had a huge impact on me. Up until then I lived under this fictional idea that if an unwanted pregnancy occurred, the couple would talk it over and agree on the answer. I thought women typically wanted children and only chose to abort when they had an unreliable partner. Every time I saw something from the pro-choice perspective, it was always some dirtbag sleazy boyfriend demanding the woman get an abortion when she wanted to keep the baby. -Or women who had a guy run out on them struggling to make a decision. Never had I considered the possibility that the reverse can and does happen. Sometimes men do want babies. They are there, ready to step up to the plate… and watch as the child is aborted. That has got to be crushing.

In pro-choice literature, men are typically portrayed as villains. They are old white men trying to control women’s bodies. They are boyfriends selfishly trying to pressure their girlfriends into having an abortion so they can move on with their next girlfriend. They are deadbeat dads who walk out on their children.
Reality is that most men do not fit these caricatures. And describing them as such pushes them away. Some men want children. Most men also have an instinct to protect their unborn children. If someone laid a finger on my pregnant wife, I’d start swinging with a baseball bat.
If we were talking about a women miscarrying, women would be pouring out in support.

A man loses a child like this- and the comments on the post couldn’t be less empathetic. They said Jonny had no right to give his opinion, only to be supportive of her decision. Comments attacked him. I read one calling him a manipulative rapist that tried to force his fiancé to be his personal incubator.
The prevailing pro-choice idea is that men are the enemy, and encourages women to entirely dismiss the feelings of their partner. He should not even speak. And they honestly wonder why more men aren’t jumping on the pro-choice bandwagon. Nearly every pro-choice meme I see attacks men.
My brand of pro-choice says men do matter. These decisions do effect their lives. Their feelings matter, and they should speak up. Speaking up is their only avenue, because they have no legal rights. At the end of the day, it is the women’s body, and she gets the executive decision. But I think they belong in the decision making process.

This whole notion that men should standby and stand silent is horse manure. It pushes men away from the pro-choice stance. It’s not part of my brand.
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Some took issue with my stat saying 45% of women describe themselves as pro-life. One commenter pointed to a different stat showing that men and women, in similar percentages had a much more nuanced view of abortion. The majority believe in some level of restriction and choice.

The point I was making is that the views of men and women on abortion are roughly the same. Every poll shows men are just a little more conservative.
Yet even if every single man was removed from office and replaced by a female- the law in Texas would likely still exist.

The narrative that old white men are trying to control young women’s bodies is certainly creepy- but not accurate. Men are a scapegoat for the pro-choice movement… when in reality, women themselves are anything but united on the issue.

In the Texas 2018 election midterms… voters were 53% women, 47% men.

The people who passed the Texas abortion ban got elected into office, thanks to the help of millions of Texas women. They could not be elected otherwise.

I would argue that attacking and scapegoating men pushes them away from the pro-choice stance.

If we want more men to join the pro-choice point of view, maybe we don’t treat them like the enemy and slam them in every pro-choice meme?
Maybe refocus on winning over those who are on the fence? All the women (and men) who liked my post, they understood what I was saying.
How many people did you win over with your white patriarchy pro-choice meme?

None.
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My advice to young men:

When I talk to my nephews, I always tell them to use protection, and never trust one method. Women forget to take pills, and other medications like antibiotics can mess with their effectiveness.

If you get someone pregnant, thats it, you have no legal rights to decide what happens next. If you do not want a baby, you need to look out for yourself.
If you do want a baby, you need to talk to your partner about it early. That conversation should happen early in a relationship to avoid really bad outcomes later.
If you are not on the same page, then they should strongly consider finding a different partner.
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What else?
Some thought that men expressing their opinions about abortion to their partner, or generally as in my post was attempting to -force- them to do something.
Ehh sorry, no. Using our words, expressing opinions is what we do in a free society. If the decision a woman makes effects men, why should they stay silent?
The post said countless times that men have no legal course of action- and shouldn’t. No one ever said anything about physically forcing a women to do anything. I think people read in whatever they want. They want to fight straw men.
But you’ll have to look elsewhere, you didn’t hear those arguments here.
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Some said my post was hurtful. Hurtful to them, hurtful to feminism, the pro-choice stance. My post hurt.
Listen folks, if hearing pro-choice criticism from someone else who is pro-choice was the most hurtful thing you heard yesterday…. you really need to step out of your bubble.

The way you describe being pro-choice is different from my pro-choice views. Your opinion hurt me. You told me to stop telling young people that a fetus is nothing more than a parasitic tape worm, and that really stung.
Give me a break.
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Several people posted on YDSS and my private account that my post was wrong, a fetus is indeed a parasite, just like a tape worm.
To those people I say- I have friends, family, women who have had miscarriages. They see your posts. Getting on my private account to call the unborn “parasites without souls” is pretty disgusting behavior.
I’m not sure why you are following me, please see yourself out.
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I had people tell me they are unfollowing me because my words were so hurtful. Sorry, I’m sure I will miss you. You don’t have to tell me you are leaving, you can just unfollow. It’s kinda weird on my part, because I’m not sure if you’re waiting for me to say something to stop you… but then a smart ass comment pops in my head, which pisses you off more, then you really unfollow. So, you know, just go. You don’t need my permission.
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I had some folks cuss me out. I deleted them because they were really profane. I can take the hate messages, just try to clean it up a little.
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I even had one commenter proudly boast they, the commenters had won. You lost, look at all these angry comments.
Angry people leave angry comments. Those who silently agree and don’t want to fight just like the post. Likes outnumbered angry commenters 3 to 1.
Considering my audience is 88% women, mostly democrats… I say not bad. Not bad at all.
But man, what a funny thought, “winning”.
There it is again. People think that if you fight people on the internet, and really told them off that they somehow won.
But then we get offline, everyone still gets one vote.
I say it all the time, who did you win over today?
You won the argument, oh yea? So they changed their mind…
Ah, nope.
I live in a Republican district. I talk to these people every day. All these liberal talking points fall on deaf ears. You want to win elections, you throw a bone to a guy shaken up after his fiancé aborts their child. You show empathy.
49% of the population is made up of… men!
And we all get one vote. Do you really think it’s a good strategy for pro-choicers to tell men they are not allowed to discuss the issue?
Pro-lifers are more than happy to invite men into their church, offer them a plate of cookies, refreshments, and just gab about the issue.
If they aren’t discussing it with you, they are discussing it with them.

Stop telling men they are not allowed to have an opinion on the subject.
Stop blaming men when all the data shows women have roughly the same beliefs.
Stop condescending to women on the right, calling them brainwashed because they have different values than yourself.

There’s this guy with a blog. He’s kinda on the left, kinda at the center. I’m not sure where he stands exactly but he was saying stuff about abortion I didn’t like. No, not pro-life stuff. No, he said he was against the Texas bill. But he said other stuff. He said he wasn’t proud of being pro-choice. He said he hopes there is a day abortion ends. And get this- he even has sympathy for a man who had his would-be child aborted. He had crazy ideas about allowing men to be part of their partner’s decision-making process. He even told them to speak up. The nerve!

So yea, we swamped his comment feed. We got him good. Totally won. We took that pro-choice man down a peg or two.
….
Cracks me up, these folks really have no clue why liberals lose elections. They don’t understand how Trump won in 2016, how the Supreme Court turned conservative, and how women’s rights just got steamrolled in Texas.
They don’t get it.
Let me ask ya’ll one more time, who’s mind did you change today?

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